Many of us dread family events.
With the holidays around the corner, I’m sure many people are wondering how to deal
with family in order to minimalize conflict. I have a large family on both of
my parents’ sides. Needless to say, sometimes I find myself dealing with
awkward comments or rude looks. If you incorporate darker, more mysterious or flamboyant
look into your wardrobe like I do, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’d
like to offer you internet people some helpful tips if you happen to find
yourself in troublesome situations at family reunions, holidays, etc.
Here are some questions:
1. How
do I avoid conflict altogether?
2. How
do I react to rude or awkward comments?
3. What
do you do with unfamiliar family members?
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| I love this photo! source |
1.
Well, when I see family, I try to tone down my
look a little. I don’t throw my style out the window when a family event is
around the corner, but I also don’t dress like I’m going to a concert or
festival. So basically, I keep my platform boots IN the closet, and I don’t
wear my make-up as dark so as to not scare the kiddies. For example, my young cousin
asked me a while back, “Are you a vampire?” I think I said something along the
lines of “maybe” or “I wish.” Keeping your most wicked clothing items in the
closet is probably the best idea to stay somewhat inconspicuous. That and I don’t
really want to give people the opportunity to touch my clothing like I’m a
petting zoo. This year I wore a simple Peter Murphy shirt and a long black skirt
with a purple stripy cardigan. No rudeness from it, only an “I’ll pretend like
I know who Peter Murphy is!” and a thumbs up.
2.
Hm…Dealing with negativity all depends on the
person. An older adult with whom you are really comfortable probably won’t insult
you. If they do, give them a sly smile and say something witty but respectful
sounding. If a younger cousin is rude, you can be a little spicier, but not too
mean. Especially with the cheeky observation comments like “You’re wearing
black today!” you can afford to be a bit snarky. I once had my uncle yelling, “You’re
a Goth!” multiple times around the house (He was very happy about it, by the
way). It was a bit awkward, but I shrugged it off. I should’ve said at least
something, but I wasn’t brazen enough at the time. In dealing with more serious
assumption comments, take a more firm but non aggressive tone. Ignorance can be
solved through education.
3.
I have many unfamiliar family members on my
father’s side. He has cousins through marriage from my grandmother’s huge
immediate family (16 kids), so I only barely know a few of them. I went to that
family reunion, and it went well for the most part. I of course got one or two critical
looks, and one older man even approached me a little too comfortably to pick a
piece of lint off my shoulder. If you get a glare from people you don’t know
too well, just smile. Don’t give that person the evil eye, because that just
causes problems. If the person is glaring at you from afar, it’s easier just to
ignore. Be as cordial as possible, but
don’t let them run you over.
I hope these little tips were
insightful, and I hope everyone reading this enjoyed hearing about some of my
personal experiences. If you have any
comments about funny incidents with family, I’d love to read.
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