Skip to main content

Advice: Goth Isn't for Grown-ups?

The lovely Lady Zendra of Noran over at Drones and Drabbles asked me for some advice the other day. I'd like to offer a solution, and hopefully my readers could comment with advice of their own for her as well.

She said, "My problem is that at 19 years of age, my parents are insisting that I "grow up" and give up my gothic clothing and interests. I simply do not agree that to be grown up, I have to give up these things that I love. I've tried to explain that I feel that I look beautiful in my darker aesthetic. How do I convince my parents that there is a time and place for certain things and that when I am out with my friends or in public I can wear what I feel comfortable in." 

It's such a shame that when some imagine an alternative person, they seem to think that there are no respectable adults involved. Your parents are most likely worried that your choice of dress and interests may affect the way people view you, which could also affect career opportunities, relationships, etc. They're stuck in concerned parent mode, but they need to be able to sympathize with you. Here's how I would go about making them see from your perspective:

  • First of all, always be respectful when you talk about this. 
  • Ask your parents why they dress the way they do. They might say it's because "that's how I feel comfortable" or something to that effect. To that you can say, "I dress for the same reason. This is how I feel comfortable presenting myself." Please make it clear, however, that your intention isn't to scare anyone off, and that you would dress "appropriately" for job interviews and such.
  • Ask them how they would feel if their parents told them they couldn't dress a certain way, listen to certain music, etc when they were your age. Tell your parents that just like themselves, you cannot help your likes and interests. 
  • It might help a little to show them some goth songs, maybe from the eighties, that they could identify with. Perhaps they might enjoy The Cure or New Order? This way, they could be able to relate to you better and understand why you like the things you do. 
  • Also, gently remind them that you are legally an adult, and therefore are capable of making your own decisions and dealing with the consequences. 
  • If in the end they can't see reason, well, you're nineteen. It won't be that long before you can move out on your own.
I hope this helped. If anyone else has something to offer, please comment down below.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Birthday!

Today (November 9th) was officially my 19th birthday! (It is also Dorian Gray's birthday.) Jessica, Justean, and I took a trip up to the beautiful Blue Ridge, Georgia to go see Frankenweenie at the Swan Drive-In Theater. This was my first time going to a drive-in. They're very rare where I live, and Swan was highly recommended by my aunt. I thoroughly enjoyed every part of my little celebration. The movie and the whole drive in experience were wonderful, and even the car ride was far from dull. Aside from the fact that I nearly got us killed on the drive up, I enjoyed being vulgar, singing badly, and laughing maniacally with my friends in the car.  Official Website The famous Blue Ridge Mountains. The beautiful Jessica I don't really know what to say...Justean's enjoying her funnel cake? Derp This is Cocoon Justean. This movie was so cute! It was pretty cold out tonight, at least to us, since we could see our breath. Taking the conver

Halloween Update: A Change of Plans

So everyone, I am a little disappointed to say that my Marie Antoinette costume is not a go this year. There has been so much piling up on me between things in my personal life, work, and school, that I have been unable to find the time to get the rest of my costume together. I bit off more than I could chew this year, but I know for next time to plan better. Perhaps you'll see the Queen next year... Although I will not be doing Marie Antoinette, I do have something planned that I can easily do with what I have! I will be using my red dress, a hat, roses, black lace and accessories, and of course some creative make-up, to throw together a Día de los Muertos costume. I think it might even be a better option this year, as I plan on visiting my aunt's house who has decorated her home in a  "Dead Hat Society" theme this year. If you don't remember the aunt to whom I am referring, here is the link to my post about her house.  I will take pictures! It's really spe

My First Ghost Tour

source As you probably know, I'm now officially a ghostly tour guide in my town! I'm so happy about this. What were the chances of me finding a job where I get paid to be creepy and tell ghost stories?  Before tonight, I was a ghost tour virgin. I was a little nervous at first, but life has prepared me for public speaking since I've been on stage and done presentations before. Overall, I think it went pretty well. I had an unusually large group (19 people) of mostly serious older adults who appreciated the history more than anything else. My walking cane even broke a few times, there were 4 or 5 trains to go by during the tour (which is irritating), and my new shoes rubbed my heels raw. Despite all that, everyone seemed to have a good time and I even creeped a few people out! Here's what I wore minus the Top hat: I love my little coffin locket. :) And for your listening enjoyment: